Forgiveness

Forgiveness is the hardest part 

when you have to say goodbye 

is it the loss of you or me 

that makes me want to cry?

I feel so lost that you are gone

but not because I miss you

I feel confused and kind of torn

because I ever kissed you.

I regret being with you 

for all the pain you caused me

and it’s not due to our break up

but because I forever lost me.

You never really understood 

or pretended like you didn’t 

I felt like explaining myself so much

till I could not see any clearer.

Trying to prove my worth to you

the worst mistake I made

because I knew that all along 

you weren’t gonna stay.

I don’t know who hurt me the most

if it was you or it was me

but in order to move on completely

they say “you need to forgive.”

So my next poem goes to you

the one that got away

I hope you find it comforting 

now that you’re away:

The day you left, I was so hurt

could not handle the pain

I thought I’d die but I’m right here

always finding a way.

The only thing I ever wanted

was for you to plan our life 

together we would be having fun

I say we’d even thrive.

The thing we had now I know

it wasn’t a relationship 

you weren’t my real boyfriend 

it was a situationship.

I so desperately needed your heart

and I know I’d give you mine

but in the process I forgot my worth

and that’s why I couldn’t say goodbye.

I forgive you because I know

I wasn’t meant for you

you didn’t want to be with me 

you searched for someone new.

I know you dreamed of something else

and we weren’t going to last

the last days I spent around you

I totally felt like trash.

I forgive you 

because you didn’t have more to give me

after all we weren’t a thing 

and now I can see clearly.

Finally, I forgive myself

for all the time I stayed

I didn’t respect myself enough

to learn how to walk away.

On our last phone call 

you were always begging me to leave you

that felt like a punch

I don’t think I can forgive you.

I wish you the best and hope you’re well

in everything you’re doing

I hope you have a clearer mind 

in everything you’re viewing.

I hope you never feel alone

this is not what I wanted

I hope you find what you wish for

and hope it was all worth it.