Mindfulness- being present

     That's a tough concept. Although it is not hard to understand, it is actually pretty hard to follow. Most of the time we are on autopilot mode. What is an autopilot mode? Can we prevent ourselves from living through this mode? Can we teach oursleves to be more mindful? Can we live in the present moment not worrying about the past or the future and can we stop living inside our minds? Let's answer these questions.

    Mindfulness is a state of being present. We feel our emotions, we are aware of our environment and we do not live in the past or the future. We are present, appreciating life and embracing every single moment. Thoughts are coming our way but we do not get caught up in them, we let them pass and we do not judge them. 

    Autopilot mode is when we actually do things without being aware, without being present. Although it is sometimes necessary in order to be able to live effortlessly, in most cases it makes us feeling numb. An example of a necessary autopilot mode is walking. When we walk we don't actually think of which foot to place in the front and which foot follows. We have learned to walk in an early age and it comes naturally. Imagine having to think about each step. It would be a disaster. But what happens when we actually live in an autopilot mode throughout our whole lives, never being present?

    By not being present in the majority of our lifetime, we would miss a lot of our precious time on this planet. Imagine going for a coffee with a friend. Imagine spending two hours with them talking and laughing but not actually being there. Then you probably go home not remembering any of the conversations you had. During those two hours you were probably living inside your mind, worrying about your job, worrying about the next day's interview, thinking about your past relationship, daydreaming. You missed your whole coffee time with a person close to you. When they speak you can passively listen and then respond without any effort. Some of the times you aren't even listening. Sometimes you are not paying much attention. Well all this is an autopilot mode gone wrong. Sounds familiar?

    Most of the time this is me. I seem to be there. I answer, I talk, I laugh but most of the time I am not really embracing every single moment. Throughout the years, I have become better at living in the present. I have read books that have helped me and I started meditating. From time to time I seem to struggle though. And then I start blaming myself for not being here, not living in this moment. And then the blame makes me feel worse. So, instead of blaming myself I've decided that these times are gonna come. I am not always going to be present. But I have to try. Not by being present on purpose, not by forcing myself. But by accepting all my thoughts and then letting them go without judging them or me for having those thoughts. This is mindfulness.

    Also, I started listening. When my thoughts are being too much for me and I cannot handle them anymore if I am talking to someone I am trying to focus on them. What are they saying? I am not listening to respond anymore. I am listening in order to understand, in order to be present, in order to be able to help in case there is this need.

    So, if I can help in any way, my three advice would be meditating, reading books about mindfulness and learning to listen. Start meditating even for five minutes every day, in the morning or before sleep. There are some guided videos that can help you. You actually learn to focus on your breath and be present. Books about mindfulness are an extra help. There are many good books that can teach you how to be present by taking small steps each day. And my third advice is about listening. When someone speaks, be there. Learn to listen not in order to respond, not in order to have a different opinion or in order to agree. Learn to listen in order to understand and be present. And then you can agree or disagree with the other person.