Gaslighting

     Gaslighting is a common issue nowadays. What is gaslighting? Many people have experienced it and have looked it up, so they know what I am talking about. Many people do not know the subject, others mock this issue and others are the gaslighters. Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation. The gaslighter (or else the abuser) is intentionally trying to make the other person (or else the victim) feel like what they experience is not real. The victim then starts self doubting or even self blaming. Gaslighting is a red flag in all kinds of relationships and it can be hard to identify.

    Some signs

•  trying to isolate you from your family/ friends
•  accusing you for having an attitude for something they did in order to shift the blame
•  being abusive and at the same time supportive (in one single conversation)
•  pretending not understanding and refusing to listen to you
•  questioning your memory
•  pretending to have forgotten/ deny certain events that have taken place
•  changing the subject 
•  Μaking your feelings/ needs seem invalid

What does it sound like?

• you're crazy
• you're overreacting
• you're too sensitive
• I was just kidding
• that never happened
• I never said that
• why are you always bringing up the past?
• you made me do that
• you're not thinking clearly
• just calm down

How to stop it

• set clear boundaries
• say that these are your feelings and they are not wrong
• try to have a conversation
• if the above solutions don't work, end the relationship