Thank you, next

To the guy who didn't want to give me much of his time, tyn.

To the guy who couldn't appreciate me until I was gone, tyn.

To the guy who didn't want to get to know me better, tyn.

To the guy who tried so hard to go on a date with me and then couldn't find time to meet, tyn.

To the guy who said women are not supposed to smoke and drink beer, tyn.

To the guy who wasn't ready for me, tyn.

To the guy who left me sit alone on our date to go talk to his friend for 50 whole minutes, tyn.

To the guy who made me feel like it was all my fault, tyn.

To the guy who suddenly stopped caring and started to care again after it was over, tyn.

To the guy who lied to me to make me break up with him and said it was for my own good, tyn.

To the guy who hacked my account and was using my socials for a month while lying to me, tyn.

To the guy who thought that my feelings are invalid, tyn.

To the guy who said that I am "too much," tyn.

To the guy who felt pressure by labels, tyn.

To the guy who couldn't commit, tyn.

To the guy who said I lack communication skills even though I had expressed my feelings thoroughly, tyn.

The lessons:

Thank you for entering my life. Because of you I experienced a variety of feelings, from happiness to disappointment. 

Thank you for making me understand behaviours I no longer accept.

Thank you for making me realize my worth and how it is not affected by your actions.

Thank you for making me learn about accountability (that I will probably discuss in another post).

Thank you for making me realize that I do not have to beg anyone to stay or make them choose me. I am enough and the right people are and will always stay by my side.

Thank you for making me understand that my feelings are valid and the right people respect them.

Thank you for making me understand that the right person can commit from the first date and doesn't have second thoughts.

Thank you for making me realize that I am not "too much" because I wanted more than the bare minimum.

Thank you for making me understand that I have to express my feelings better, open up more and not shut down because I was creating distance.

Thank you for making me understand that gaslighting does exist and how to deal with it (or better how to get away).

Thank you for making me love myself more.

Thank you fo making me understand my needs more.

Thank you for making me realize what I bring to the table.

Thank you for making me respect myself more and set boundaries.

Thank you for making me focus on myself.

Thank you for making me learn more about attachment styles and how to avoid "my type" (now it all makes sense).

Thank you for making me understand that relationships need hard work and it takes two to make it work. 

Thank you for making me understand that we all have different point of views and we all carry our own experiences and traumas along the way. We won't always get the other person and their feelings and behaviours. But we have to try to step into their shoes in order to make connections. We have to make them feel understood and really listen, not just talk.

Thank you for making me go through the healing process. I fall in love with myself more everyday, I am learning to evolve and embrace my flaws. I am learning to accept myself and know that I am enough and also try to become a better version of myself for myself.