Learning more about attachment styles
Our attachment style affects our lives in many different ways.
It affects the way we view the world and people around us and the way other people treat us.
Our attachment style plays a key role in the way we think, we feel and we behave.
It is formed through the earliest relationships we build in our childhood.
In adulthood subconsciously we seek the same types of relationships we had as kids in order to recreate feelings that are familiar to us.
There are four attachment styles:
- secure
- anxious/ preoccupied
- avoidant/ dismissive
- fearful- avoidant/ disorganized
The first category is the only attachment style which provides individuals safety. The other three categories leave individuals feeling insecure. Let's break them down.
1. Secure:
People with this attachment style can trust others easily.
They can depend on others and can let others depend on them.
They are not afraid of being alone.
They feel secure both close and away from others.
They are able to express their emotions directly.
2. Anxious/ Preoccupied:
They feel constant jealousy.
They always seek reassurance from others.
They have fear of abandonment.
They are usually called clingy.
They worry that their partner does not value their relationship as much as they do.
They tend to find partners who are not consinsent and are emotionally unavailable.
3. Avoidant/ Dismissive:
They avoid being emotionally close to others.
They are independent and do not want to rely on others.
They do not seek reassurance.
They act like they don't have needs.
They erase memories like they did not matter to them.
4. Fearful- avoidant/ Disorganized:
They avoid strong attachments because they are afraid of getting hurt.
They want to be emotionally close to others, however they have trouble trusting them.
They cannot control their emotions.
They try to find safety in their partner and at the same time they are afraid to get close to them.
This is a complex topic that will be discussed further in other posts.
The good news is that you can alter your attachment style to secure.
Stay tuned for more info.
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